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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Being At Home

I love me some Christmas break. Okay...so I love me any kind of break. Don't you? I love being at home with my little one. This is a CONSTANT struggle for me. I love my job...so rewarding, but sometimes I REALLY wanna be a stay at home mom. I've battled this since I went back to work when Lilly was 3 months.  I don't at all wanna get in the SAHM battle vs. working mom battle. Just wanted to vent my thoughts about my situation.
We have chosen for me to work. Are there things we could live without if I didn't work...yes. But we have chosen to have those things. My husband is self-employed. He owns his own construction company. I am a Type 1 diabetic...insurance doesn't come cheap. It would cost us A LOT of money for insurance if I chose not to work. I kind of like LOVE to shop for Lilly. That gets expensive. I really do love my job BUT....I love being at home with her. We have so much fun. I just can't get enough of her. Do I really think I would be happy if I were a SAHM....not sure. We would probably kill each other but part of me thinks it would be heaven. I get jealous everytime someone new says they are staying at home. I was SUPER jealous on Tuesday when all of my friends were posting pictures on FB of their kids from Lilly's school class party. I wanted to be there. I want to be the head room mom with the cute goodies made from pinterest. Everyday...and I mean Everyday...Lilly says to me "You get to stay home a lot with me?" Breaks.My.Heart. I know it is good for her to be at school and get those social skills and I know she loves it once she is there. It is just a constant battle for me. I feel guilt everyday when I go to work and send her to "daycare" (which is the BEST place in town).
Sorry for the rambling. Just reflecting on my first day home with sweet girl and wishing it could be everyday. I know most people who read this work so I'd love to hear your thoughts. PLEASE don't make this a place to bash and be negative! We have a big day tomorrow including a playdate with her BFFs!

4 comments:

  1. That's tough! I don't have kids yet, but I know I will be in the same boat as you as far as choosing whether to SAH or work. I am praying for you! Love your blog by the way!:) I just started one, come see me!! :)

    www.lovingandlearninginprek.blogspot.com

    Julia

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  2. I often feel the same way and my children are grown! Enjoy the time you have with her. It will go quickly whether you stay home or not. Teaching jobs are hard to come by and the insurance is very important. My husband is also self-employed. Before I began teaching, he worked mainly to provide insurance. It was tough. Have a lovely time together over the holiday break. You deserve it!

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  3. I loved, loved, loved the time I spent at home with my children, they are both teenagers and I still feel guilty at times when I can't be there. I was going to college throughout their early school years and missed a lot of school activities, I regret it a lot at times but I know where we would be if I had not gone back to school. It's always a trade off. I am glad I did it but something had to be sacrificed to make it happen. I just told my husband yesterday that there was no perfect choice, for now I try to enjoy the best of both worlds while having breaks and summers off I enjoy them as much as I can and do tons of fun stuff with them! Hope you have a wonderful break!!

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  4. Being a teacher is the next best thing to being a SAHM...why?
    #1: Once they are in school you will get all the same breaks they do.
    #2: You get every summer off with them...lots of quality time.
    #3: When they are old enough to go to school they can come to work with you everyday! I love having my children hang out with me in my classroom before and after school. I will miss them when they go off to Middle School and I won't see them as much BUT I am very thankful we are together as much as we are...most days! ; )

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